I wish this could happen overnight...

But, nothing ever does in life, and the weight did not come on overnight either. I was looking at old pictures from the past 8 years or so, and see meyself up and down continuously, sometimes I'm bigger and other times I am smaller. This just makes me realize that my lifestyle is cyclical and not constant, so that is why I cannot maintain my weight at one that I am content with. I get bored easily and feel like a failure if I don't put 100% effort in or have a slip up, so I find it easier to give up than continue on. So, that being said, I am dropping out of this competition cuz' that is much easier for me right now. Just Kidding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been cleaning out my storage room and have looked back at some old fitness mags that have great programs in them, so I am going to try this weight program that is nicely and easily designed so that there is no guesswork involved at all, and it also incorporates three days of cardio, so I can still incorporate my running. I think that working out with weights is obviously very important and will be the key for my transformation. It has been really difficult doing this I must say, but I feel like I wasn't as prepared as I needed to be, both emotionally and organizationally(?), but I know that I want it and I am not gonna ever give up, even if it takes til the end of the year to get to my goal, so be it. The cleanse is going okay, I have juiced alot, but also eaten a lot of peanuts instead of real meals, so I need to get a few groceries so that I can go about it properly. I am actually very excited to do this weight programs because it isnot necessarily easy, but simple to follow, I don't have to plan my workouts and journal them, just take my mag to the gym and follow the workout. If anyone is interested in it, let me know ans I will forward it on to you. Talk soon.