Falling again...

back into old ahbits, that is. I had a fun and active weekend, but it was also comprised of drinking wine and ordering takeout, not once but twice, and waking up thnking what the f$%k?. Not only did I spend like $50 that I totally don't have, it messes me up fpr the next day so much, and I end up throwing out the food and wasting it. Last night was a bottle of wine and chinese takeout cuz' I was craving salqt and pepper squid, and now I'm up in the middle of the night with the shakes and nothing but regrets, wondering why I keep making the decision to do these things knowing how it is going to make me feel mentally and physically. I have to admit that I have put less than admirable effort into this challenge and have obviously not reaped great benefits. I know that we have to allow ourselves to enjoy things, but I can't seem to find the balance necessary to have a great lifesytle that allows a few slipups here and there, so I guess I have to be extreme. I realize how much drinking wine interferes with my training and how guilty I feel for doing it, so I am going to have to give it up. I have been able to do it in the past, and I am ready to do it again, cuz', as it is fun in the moment, it is not worth all the other things that come with it, and it gets expensive when you are drinking a bottle of wine and ordering takeout that you really don't want or enjoy because you got a craving. I have to start fresh this week with a strong commitment to the cause and a better lifestyle for myself, so I am declaring myself wine free for the rest of the summer, not even a glass on a patio anymore, cuz' it always turns into 3 or 4. I like non-alcoholic beer, so I'll have to start enjoying that again. I am going to do great this week and in the weeks to follow, and really start to make some big changes in my behaviour, cuz' what I 'm doing now is not working for me at all. So, with this week ahead, I commit to working out 5 days, and not drinking alcohol at all, journalling my food intake and not allowing myself any treats. I have to remember how I am feeling right now in a moment of temptation and remember what my long term goals are, so I can can succed, because these decisions are not helping me reach my goals at all. I feel like ass right now, and I am sure that I will feel the same way in the morning, meaning I will probalby put my workout off until the evening, and it just feels like such a crappy way to start the week off. I am gonna be so strict on myself that it is gonna be ridiculous, but so worth it, so I will definitely share the changes with you guys over the next 6 weeks. I'm gonna start by throwing out that chinese food right now, what a waste of money. The worst part is that I totally passed out while I was waiting for it, guess I wasn't craving it that badly, should have waited 10 minutes and it would have passed. Man I feel like a real loser right now, never want to have this feeling again, so I won't...I am going to change!!!!